For a while now, my heart center was getting sort of weak. I was trying to find what lit it up again. About three days ago I discovered that if I look at a picture of my twin flame, it brings my heart center up. I focused on that, and kept practicing, until my center was lit up very strongly. It felt great to just love him without any negative attachments to it. I was not feeling hurt that he wasn’t talking to me then. I was not sad that he had a fiance. I genuinely wanted him happy and well, even if it was not with me.
I was in such a good state of love and by Valentine’s Day, I was in a great surrendered space. I thought of my twin flame with pure love. There was no sadness or any ‘needy’ feelings. I imagined his smile and how beautiful and genuine it is and I was hoping he was smiling all day. I imagined him with his fiance and how she comforts him. It felt good to know he was doing well.
When I was in this space, my heart center was so strong! It was exciting to feel it that strongly again. I had not felt it that strongly in many months. I realized I had made a breakthrough. I had gotten past a block that was keeping me from loving him.
Then the universe, or my higher self, (whatever you want to call it) decided to put me to a tougher test. I mean, I was doing so well! I barely got to stay in that loving space, when the universe decided to push me to level up or drop.
I got a text message. The area code in the text message, was from his town. It said that he finally found my phone number, that he had lost it when his phone broke and he had been trying to remember it. That he wanted to apologize for leaving without saying goodbye and that it was not from lack of desire to get to know me. That he hopes to reconnect. That is was nothing I did wrong and that he was sorry it was negative. He even called me by a nickname that my twin calls me.
For about a minute, I thought it was my twin flame! I mean, what are the odds??? I was so elated! I felt like finally he had come around and he is saying all the things I wished he would say! That this was a breakthrough for us. Then, as I began to look at the phone number I thought to myself, why isn’t he using kik? He always uses kik, and never his phone number. I asked this person a few questions and realized, this is not him. It was a wrong number.
Wow, just wow. What are the odds that someone from his town, would say those very things? And then the drop. I was so elated, and as high as I was, the further I fell.
I felt like the universe played a very cruel joke on me. I felt terrible! I got depressed, I felt physically sick. I came to realize that he will never say those things to me. He may never realize we’re twin flames.
I was beginning to doubt everything. I had spent two days sending him some very strong heartfelt love. It was radiating so strongly that my whole chest, shoulders, and torso down to my waist, ached, but in a very good way. My heart center was radiating when I got the text message, and when I realized it was not him, it all shut down. Two days of feeling love, after a breakthrough, and it was all gone.
I went to my friends, who are twin flames in union, and told them what had happened. They helped show me that this was a good thing.
The universe/higher self, was showing me where I was still holding on. It is a block. It is me still holding on to expectations of what I think he should do. I was expecting him to say all those things and realize all these things, if I were to go into surrender. Except that isn’t really surrender, if I am expecting something.
The universe showed me that although I was loving him, I was not in surrender. They very specifically showed me a block I was having, and what I needed to work on.
The universe teased me with what I wanted from my twin, then took it away so I could see what I was still expecting. Had I been in real surrender, I would have not crashed down, once I realized it was not my twin. I would have known that everything that happens is for a reason, and to go with the flow.
Since I had this experience, I have spent all day meditating on surrender, and on imagining him not responding to me, of him getting married, of him never wanting to speak to me again, and still finding the love within my center to give him.
I am back to feeling good again. My heart center is not as strong, but I am working on it. I think this might take a few times of being tested before I get through this one and transmute it into Love, but I think I am doing pretty well after only a day.
To love someone unconditionally, means no conditions.
People say they know surrender and unconditional Love, but if you are really on this path, then the universe will work with you and put you through tests, to make sure you reach your goal.