Right down to his tattoos and his height. About nine months before I met him, I told the universe what I waned.

I want a perfect mate for me. I want my mate to be a man. I want him under 5’11” so that his height is compatible with my body. I want him to have piercing eyes and a genuine, happy smile. He must love to laugh and play. I want him to know how to fight to protect me and my children, but have a gentle and compassionate heart towards everyone. I want him to have friends and be able to make friends easily if he chooses, so that when we are together he will have a healthy support system of friends around him. I want him intelligent but laid back and fun. I want him to have a job but it does not have to be something high paying, just something that is comfortable. I want him to be handy around the house and able and willing to fix things. I want him to be willing to help with the dishes. (any woman who has been married and had children, know the dishes thing is a legit thing to ask. When a man does the dishes, it’s Brad Pitt sexy!) I want him to be in some kind of active outdoor sport and love nature. He must match me on sexual likes. He must respect me and honor me and expect that I do the same. He must love family. Mine and his. I want him to be a good influence for my daughter so she may see what it is like to see a man who truly loves and respects a woman. I want him to be a good influence on my son so that he may see what it is like to be a real man who is confident, strong, as well as kind and compassionate. He must love to travel and appreciate different cultures. I don’t want it boring. It must be exciting and passionate. He must be passionate with me and have a passion for something. He must not judge me for my spiritual beliefs. He must have spiritual beliefs of his own. I want him covered in tattoos and a washboard stomach. (It was my wish, I could make it anything I wanted!)

Bingo! That is exactly what I got! There was more in the list of things I wanted in my perfect mate, but that is more personal so I won’t share it here.

I have spoken with other twin flames and the twin with the strongest feminine energy has usually done some sort of manifestation technique just before meeting their other half of their soul.

Before I knew what twin flames were, I was simply doing what I was taught as a pagan. My dad is Druid and studied the Hermetic teachings, my stepmother is Wiccan. Both Goddess worshipers. I am neither Wiccan nor Druid, but I was heavily influenced by this. I do not worship any Goddess, I am a Goddess, just in a human body learning to be a Goddess once more.

None of that is important for twin flames to know. It’s just my history and how I came to use manifestation techniques for myself. Regardless of any religion or belief, most twin flames in the feminine, have done some sort of manifesting technique.

It’s as if our souls knew our twin was coming close to us and we sensed who and what they were, deep down. So when we made our list of qualities that we wanted in our mate, it wasn’t made up stuff, it was us tapping in to who our twin flame was, even if on a conscious level we were not fully aware of it. We listed those qualities because for us, our twin flame is the perfect partner in every way. Everything about them is attractive. We list what we were attracted to, because our twins are attractive to us.

My manifestation ritual was to repeat this list, while in the shower, every morning, after inviting the light and love from Source to come to me.

After months of this, I just stopped. I let it go and moved on to other things. I came to terms with my life situation and accepted it from there and thought to myself, if I don’t meet anyone, it is okay. I will be fine just focusing on being a mom, and getting my life in order.

I did not ‘create’ my twin flame. Nor did I cause an unsuspecting man, who had his own life path away from mine, to suddenly come into my life and be my twin flame. He already existed and has always been my twin flame since the beginning of time, forwards and backwards. When I manifested him to me, it created a path in the universe for us to meet and get the process started. Before we were born here, the path to come back to each other was already created.

I believe it is a balance of intention, and surrendering, that allows it to manifest. So why then, even after knowing this, is it so hard for me to surrender now? I am closer to it. I go in and out of it. The universe gives me teases of surrender so I can get a ‘feel’ for it. The universe works with me on this often, but it still surprises me at how hard it can still be. Especially after meeting my other half. It felt so amazing that I reeeeeealy didn’t want to let go, but I must.

Once I met him, it was like the universe said, “okay, this is what you are capable of creating, but to keep it, it is time to do the work”, and that was when I was thrown into learning about myself (know thy self) , balance, and healing. It is important to do the inner work so that when you come together with your twin flame, you can process the triggers and keep spiraling up.

With twin flames, there is no stillness. It never becomes stale or comfortable. Ever. This dynamic is not an easy one but the rewards are huge. Not everyone can handle this. Twin flames either rise or they fall. There is no middle. So if you are not processing the triggers and moving up into higher states of love and ecstasy, then you are spiraling down, in ever more lower vibrational states such as fear and anger. You have to be ready to commit to this, to be willing to do the work and choose love over all else. If one of the twins, can’t handle stuff like societies cultural programming, then there is no way they can handle being with their twin and facing their own programming within themselves. There is no room for lies or bullshit in this dynamic. All false beliefs will be taken down, or you go down with it. Love and ecstasy, or fear and anger. No middle.

Before I started my manifestation, I was in a very low place. My life was crumbling and I was in the shower one morning (showers seem to be a theme here. It must be the water. Water carries magic) and I could not cry. I had been through so much in my life that tears would not come. Even when my brother died, and my grandmother died, I could not cry. I just stayed low without releasing anything. But there I was in the shower, and my soul cried. Not my body, but my soul. It gave out the most profound cry to the universe to either give me something good or release me from this life. That if there was something more to this life than just a physical body, then to show me. Shortly after that, I was inspired to manifest my perfect mate… along with a few other things in my life.

Just after I was inspired to manifest my perfect mate, I was led to start my inner work. This allowed me to release the desperation to want a mate, and just be okay in the moment, which allowed me to surrender to the process and step into the next part of my life, trusting that all was going to be okay.

So here I am. I have seen and experienced my twin flame. Now I do the work.

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